2 + 2 = Dizzy

It has been 9 months since I lost my job and have been home, every single day.

That’s 268 days of me trying to figure out how to use this “down time” to work on writing. Sad reality is… there is now “down time.”

Yet, here I am, 6432 hours into something that was supposed to last “three weeks.”

385,920 minutes of a situation so repetitive I feel I shouldn’t be moving forward–maybe I’m not moving forward–maybe I’m just spinning in circles. I’ve become a broken clock that twirls on a pin attacked to a cog that isn’t touching anything else.

Well, damn. I guess that’s a top. I am a top.

Yes, sirs and ma’ams, theys and thems — 23,155,200 seconds of me going round and round and round and round… no wonder I’m so damn dizzy.

The world is a blur that has lost its color, pigment drained from the thick black lines outlining what I’d come to perceive as my reality. I’ve found myself missing something I wasn’t sure I liked in the first place–but it’s is the something I knew, the something that was comfortable.

Spinning isn’t comfortable.

Especially without color.

Now, if you’re wondering what is the point of this post? I supposed it’s me sharing with you that I’m not okay. I’m just okay enough. I would say I’m fine but that’s a complete lie and I could say I’m terrible, but it’s not that bad. It’s just the spinning.

One day I hope to post about writing (because I’m still writing) or about books I’m reading (because I’m reading two at this moment — one by Nico Walker and the other by Joe Hill.) Words form in my head to describe them to me but not in my mouth to describe them to you.

Guess I’ll just keep on spinning and hope when I fall the couch is at my side, and I tip in the right direction. Until then, this is me saying, if you’re not okay, you welcome to be not okay with me–we can be not okay together. Until we’re all okay again.

Best,

AS

Wednesday Words–Angels & Demons

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angel-writing-prompt

I picked this prompt because I feel like it forces your hand. You these this sentence and automatically think, ‘fallen angel who runs amuck messing up, royally.’

But what if that’s not it at all. What if it’s a backhanded comment? Like:

“Did you hear about Kara?”

“I did. What a shame…”

“Yeah, I guess you never expect an angel to set the world on fire.”

–or–

Maybe it’s a ‘thing’ a character says.

“You really screwed up this time, Mary.”

“Maybe I have, but you know what they say–no one expects and angel to set the world on fire!”


Words. Words. Words. Love ’em or hate ’em–but they affect all of us. Even the none writing people in our lives (or in this world.)

I like the latter of the two. I like the ‘catch phrase,’ for lack of a better term.

“Life’s too short, man. And you know what they say…”

Happy writing! xxoo-A