Write Right

To my right is an old warped cork board covered in index cards with places and characters written on them. They belong to a story I began last summer with my son, but abandoned once he was in school.

It’s hard to plot out a story you’re writing with a child who isn’t home…

But there they are – staring at me with weird made up words on them, penned out in a variety of obnoxious colors like neon green and magenta.

My computer and this cork board are in my bedroom, so each night as I sit in bed, I stare at them. About a week ago it occurred to me I should take them down, seal them in an envelope and save them for next summer when my son and I can pick up where we left off. (We have a rather extraordinary world, but not much premise or story as of yet.) But then as I looked them over – our sea monster, flying men, dragons, etc., – I decided to let them stay.

This decision brought up other questions: How long is too long to write a story? How many stories should I be working on at once? When is it the “official” time to throw in the towel?

Staring at his board had become my late night meditation. At first I would think about this world we created, and now I think of answers to those questions.

When I ventured out on this writing path (many moons ago) it was all very linear. You wrote a story, you had people read the story, you adjusted the story, you sent it to agents who either ignored you completely or sent robo response rejection letters. But now (many moons later) the answers to those questions have changed dramatically and I know the path is more chaotic than ever.

#Q1 – How long is too long to write a story? A1 – There is no time line. When you set a time line is when you mess up the story. You begin to rush, you miss details, your characters are thinner than the paper you want your story published on.

#Q2 – How many stories should I be working on at once? Q2 – I used to think the only way to write was to write one story at a time. Now, I can’t speak for you, but on a good day I have 5+ stories in my head rattling around like marbles in a jar. Currently I’m working on a new novel I’m calling “Triangle”, I’m also reworking an old novel in a new format that I feel will work better for its multi-character storyline, I have another novel waiting in my writing queue ready for a good edit (because my last edit was impetuous and damaging), and then there is the one on the wall and another one that keeps invading my dreams. Oh, and then there is the novella that I want to self publish – so make that 6+. (…then there are the others made up of only characters or vague premise that aren’t worth mentioning yet…)

Once upon a time, working on one thing suited for me, but only because I convinced myself that was how “real authors” wrote. Now I write in a way that keeps me wanting to write.

#Q3 – When is it the “official” time to throw in the towel? A3 – Back then, I used to get tired so I would give up on manuscripts – these days its more like we “take a break” from each other. I’ll have Beta Readers email me and ask about old titles, “What happened to that book? I loved that one!” And I’ll tell them I’m working on something new. They fret I’ve given up, but in truth I have not. If you believe in your story, your characters, your world – you will never officially throw in the towel. Because when you love something so much, giving up on it isn’t an option.

These are the things I remind myself on the days I do want to give up. Lately, I have more of those than I’d like to admit, but at the same time this is the most consistent my writing has ever been. I write DAILY. I edit DAILY. I challenge myself DAILY. And I permit myself to take a step back when I know I need one, because some days the words flow, and others its like trying to pulled tar out of the bottom of a nail polish jar. But I do it anyway.

Why?

Because even though it feels like I’m not going anywhere, I know as long as I try I’m making better strides than giving up.

Characters, aren’t we all.

the-fall-tv-showThere is this BBC show, it is called “The Fall” and it centers around two characters:

#1 – Stella Gibson, played by Gillian Anderson

#2 – Paul Spector, played by Jamie Dornan

It is the tale of two obsessive, compulsive people on two different sides of the law. One is a police detective and the other a murder, and yes – you’ve heard this premise a million times before.

But you’ve never met Stella Gibson.

I’m a fan of crime drama, not all but a lot of them. I’m a fan of female characters, not all but a few I really love. And then there is Stella Gibson.

In every recess of entertainment – television, movies, novels, plays – I would like to see more “Stella Gibson” type characters. I would love to see someone so self-possessed and contained even the lowest of the low (and I’m talking about people who are a fan of slut shaming) can’t touch her. Well, maybe they do. Maybe they get to her, because after all, we’re all human and words hurt – but still, there is something magnificent about her.

She is beautiful, smart, sexy, confident, contained, brilliant, and caring.

The underlining theme of Man V. Woman is strung throughout in more ways than one – from sex, to death, to daily life. It is examined, dissected, discussed and thrown in your face. Basically, The Fall makes you think. The tension keeps you on your wit’s end and then you have this truth handed to you – because it really is a truth, no matter what people say or how they try to spin it.

At the end of series 2 there is a discussion between Stella and one of her officers – a man – and she’s says something along these lines, “When ask why men felt threatened by women, they say they’re afraid women may laugh at them. When women are asked why they felt threatened by men, they say they’re afraid they might kill them.”

The Fall is an excellent example of non-stereotypical characterization and I’m talking all of these characters. They are layered, have debt, and make you connect to them – even if it’s by making you hate them.

What type of characters do you wish there were more of?

Railbirds

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Critics.

All of them.

The people who tell us to give up, are the ones who feel they have failed. But the truth is, the only way to actually fail – is to give up.

This is the speech I give myself each and every time I want to throw in the towel. Life would be so much easier if I stopped trying, because then I wouldn’t have to be disappointed.

The railbirds in our lives add to the perpetual need for an escape plan. The people we thought were our trusted guides turn out to be nothing more than pessimistic and downtrodden folk who love to share their disappointment.

At the end of the day, their supported is about as effective as a ten-year old bra missing it’s underwire.

It’s good to remember that are a product of our decisions – both the ones we make and the ones we avoid. It is an inescapable fact. So is – we can’t really blame the critics for saying what they think, we can only monitor how we react to their words.

If they speak at all.

Sometimes silence is the loudest critic. Not hearing, not receiving feedback, not getting a reply to an email you sent a week earlier. It is the one thing you so desperately desire.

The want is almost crippling.

As writers we are creative folk. We’ve decided to spin and weave and knit facts and fiction together – creating thoughts, emotions, stories, etc. And when you reach out and the person doesn’t reach back… Our stories leap from the computer screen into our head, worst case scenarios on steroids.

How wonderful would it be to be an island? Sadly, needing the help of others along the writers path is inevitable. Simone and Garfunkel are alone again.

This post is an example of me trying to bolster my own psyche as I wait for a return email. My mind has been doing flips for days and the imaginary railbirds I’ve concocted over the years  are drinking pints of ale, mocking me relentlessly.

“Told you, Aryn. You’re writing isn’t worth a dime!” Gin blossomed nose, stale breath, and a rotund disposition. I wonder why I paint myself as a down on your luck hobo circa 1925 when I choose to self sabotage? Oh, Freud… at least it wasn’t my mother.

Alas – it’s back to that “making a choice” moment… and while one little voice tells me its time to give up, turns out I can’t stop myself – even if I try…

The “Writers Challenge”

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I remember the first time I heard about National Novel Writing Month – it was many moons ago, and I was a wee lass not really looking at the bigger picture.

At the time I was married, but childless – and let me tell you, when you’re childless it is much easier to find time to write. That said – with children or without – it is ALSO very easy to find a million excuses not to write.

But back then I participated in the now hugely famous “NaNo” (as I like to call it), but any more the idea of killing myself to write a first draft in one month sounds terrible. Plus, it’s a first draft.

Really can’t speak for you but I know I need a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth draft until my book is half way presentable. Once there was a time I wouldn’t admit that out loud – but these days I don’t care. Needing to write extra drafts doesn’t make me a crappy writer – writing multiple drafts makes me a better one.

While I no longer jump on the NaNoWriMo train – I am a fan of friendly competition (mostly with myself) to get the fire burning under my butt. That has led my friend and I to start our own 3 month challenge. (Which I’m sure will become an infinite challenge, because for me writing is as important as coffee.)

Does it have a fancy name? Nope.

Are we guaranteed an agent and a publication deal upon completion? HA! Nope…

But I love it, so I wanted to share it. Currently, seeing there are only two of us we email each other our word count at the end of the day. There is a minimum, because if there wasn’t it wouldn’t be much of a challenge, now would it? It is a whopping 750 words. To me, this is a very small number – to you, maybe not so much, but it’s a doable number for sure.

On top of that, at the end of the week we email our combined word count.

I know what you’re thinking, what about all the other aspects of writing? (e.g. plotting, research, editing <- because editing is a paramount part of writing, even if you hate doing it.) Well, all of that counts, too. Instead of a word count, we send amounts of time. “Today I edited for 3 hours.”

You get the picture.

This is me inviting you to join us! Tweet me @arynyoungless your daily word count, time editing, etc. Hashtag it #writingchallenge and join in our fun. Because while writing a story often sends you to a secluded writers island – you don’t  have to be alone. Help support each other, promote each other, and motivate each other – that is a goal of mine.

Hope to hear from you!

-Aryn

The Truth about Happy

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Nearly five years ago I received my certification as a yoga instructor. If you are familiar with yoga – and I’m talking the institution, not the physicality of it – I’m sure the title of this post tripped an onslaught of quotes and ideas. If you’re unfamiliar – and only know the physical side of the practice, well, there’s a lot more to it.

But this post isn’t about yoga.

This post is about writing.

How? What does yoga and a man repairing a steam pump have to do with writing? (see above image) The answer is – everything.

The truth about being happy is a mixture of balance, hard work, self forgiveness, and persistence. Overall, being happy is actually rather hard. It goes against most things we’ve been taught our entire lives. The world says to act one way, and our instincts tell a whole different story – and this causes struggle.

Where is a great story born from? Struggle.

As a writer I look out into the world to see where a story may lie. I people watch at the beach, or at my son’s school for my next “real” character. I read everything and anything I can get my hands on from classics like Alexandre Dumas’ “The Count of Monte Cristo” to Hiroshi Sakurazaka’s “All You Need is Kill” and than tons of news articles, wiki posts, and random blogs.

I write/edit/plot/conceive/sketch every day.

Every. Single. Day.

Good days. Bad days. All days. Write.

On the bad days – the days I can’t seem to find the “struggle” in my story, but am consumed by it with my writing, I feel like the man above.

This writing world I am part of is a cog in a steam pump, and my job is to maintain it – even when I feel it’s hopeless and will amount to nothing. This is my “writing” life. Filled with strife, struggle, oppression, tears, sweat, and sometimes blood – it’s still mine.

In yoga we are taught  the things we struggle with are what we need the work on the most. Maybe it’s understanding the sutras, or resting in some precarious arm balance – regardless the answers we’re looking for will always be on the other side of that struggle.

In writing our truth lies in the words we put on the page. Maybe today they’re not good. Maybe today they’re actually terrible. But until we accept this is our path – and that our path may not look like the paths of other writers we know, we will never find the answer. We will never know happy.

The truth about being happy  is that sometimes we won’t be.

And the truth about being a writer is that sometimes we need to not be happy so we can try to be great.

So be great. Get out of you own way. Embrace your struggles. And most of all don’t be afraid to grab a wrench and keep on moving.

The trials of writing a short story… who knew?! (That’s right, everyone did.)

wise-asteroid

 

Look up! It’s a giant rock headed right toward us!!

…or is it?…

That’s how all of this feels – and I mean “life” by “this.” Life feels like a giant rock falling out of the sky aimed directly for my forehead.

Things take longer than planned, even with all the organization I try to put in place and the schedules I create for my writing – life comes in and…

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So there is a delay, but the story will happen. I WILL have a short story to post on this site, for you to read – if you like (which I hope you will because I’d love that. No pressure… seriously. Thank you either way…)

I have no date – but the plan is before the end of the year. Secretly (not really a secret if I post it online…) I hope it will be ready for everyone to read on Holiday break! It’s the least I can do for lovelies like yourself.

UNTIL THEN! Promise to stay positive and write more posts to keep you writing!!

xx

A

 

~Yes~

 

Hello friends!

This past week I made a decision, one I would like to share with you – because putting it out there in black and white makes it even more real. First, you should probably know that this past Wednesday was my birthday – a minor life even that has helped me come to this decision, but alas – it was actually something I decided over a month ago now.

What is it, you ask? I’ve decided to say “YES”. (see gif above)

I’ve never been big on for new year resolutions, but to be frank – this is more my new year than new years ever has been. It’s the beginning of the next year of my life – the next chapter, if you will. For once I’m putting my foot down and I’m making a change, I will no longer be a “No Girl.”

Example:

Q -“Meet me for a drink?” or “Write for [insert blog]” or “Go on said adventure?”

A -“No, I’m too tired.” or  “No, I have to work in the morning.” or “No, I have my son to look after.”

This applies to many things, not just my social life (small as it is). But now I’m yelling it to the universe, “Bring it!” I say, because I’m tired of turning stuff down, I’m tired of making excuses for myself and ending up tired in the process. Basically, I’m really tired of saying, “No.”

So, for this next year – I will be saying yes.

Yes, I will. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

YES.

Time for change.

-Aryn

 

 

 

 

 

And so it goes…

 

Life continues to come at me like small rocks in a dust storm. I take a breath when I think it’s safe, but most days my face is wrapped in a protective layer of fabric as I steer my way though the network of paths before me. Soon I’ll find the right one, or maybe I’ll realize  I’m already on the right path and the storm is just part of the process.

I’ll figure it out.

I always do.

I would like to report I have been working diligently to get my first ever self published short story online! Exciting stuff (to me it REALLY exciting stuff… like “do a little dance of glee in my bedroom between writing/ editing sessions” exciting.) And this has been made possible because of the amazing Michelle Joyce Bond [who also has a blog you should check out! It’s called, “Sleeps with Notebooks“. Go there, tell her I said hi!]

Basically, this post is merely to say thank you to anyone who reads me, who helps me, who feels compelled to keep trying because of me – because you keep me going. Yup. Never give up! Never surrender! Life is too short to live a mediocre life – live one that makes you feel spectacular.

So if you’re on here wasting time because you’re having writers block, or writers angst (which is worse than a block), or you’re scared because you think you’ll never be good enough – go write something. (And then come back and share it with me. I’d love to see it.)

Sometimes those tiny rocks are just thumping you in the head to say, “wake up!” Speaking of which, a new opening chapter to Imogen Grace won’t write itself…

Happy writing!

-Aryn

 

Why I Write

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Ah, the life of an inspiring writer… You wake, you write, you eat, you write, you sleep, you write – sometimes you sleep write. This is not recommended… personally, I’m a terrible speller and it’s really hard to use the dictionary when I’m asleep.

I sit and think about what I’m writing, and what I should blog about. One day I will post an excerpt from my book – I’m only holding off because I need to revamp the opening, and I haven’t had a chance because I’m writing a serialized story that I hope to post on here starting late next month. <- I typed the end of that sentence with a high pitch valley girl voice over in my head.

Honestly, everything I write has a voice over in my head. I feel like Doogie Howser – music and all.

Voice over aside, I’m very excited to post actual work of mine online that is something other than poetry. This is my way of coping. Coping with what? The stress of writing, and writing, and writing, and feeling like you’re just chasing your own tail and no one even notices your even in the room.

Three years ago when I committed to this goal to become an honest to god Author with a real live agent and a publishing contract there was a group of other aspiring writers I hung with. These days the people from that group have gotten their deals and moved on, or stopped writing all together.

Anymore I feel like the Little Engine that Could, but have yet to realize I’m filling in for the Orient Express and have been snowed in for a while now.

Dismal.

Very cup empty and questioning why you have a cup at all.

But here I am, and here you are – reading this. That’s what hope looks like.

I’ve given up on things before. I was in a band (or 3) and I walked away. I used to manage retail stores, but it wasn’t for me so I moved on. Even people – as crass as that sounds, but I feel everything has a life-cycle. Butterflies, creative outlets, even friendships – but I can’t let this one go. I’ve tried. I announced it to an entire diner one night, “I WILL WRITE NO MORE! DAMN THE WRITING!” Blah… I can’t.

So until I reach my dream – because I will (mark my words) – I will be on here, hopefully, entertaining you! Keep an eye out for my story! I’d tell you about it, but I really want it to be a surprise. The most I’ll say is that its Science Fiction. (~giddy dance~)

Remember all you aspiring writers – you’re not alone. Don’t give up simply because it’s hard. If it were easy you’d probably get lazy and then write crap – and the last thing we need is more crap. 🙂

Friday in Review: Ham on Rye

ham on rye

 

I visited Bukowski’s grave after moving to Los Angeles. It’s in San Pedro, about a 40 minute drive from my apartment. Better yet, my apartment is about a ten minute drive from the house he grew up in. Well, not better for Chuck ‘ol boy – it wasn’t really a happy home.

To put it mildly, I am a Bukowski fan and have been for years. Oddly, Ham on Rye is a book I’ve only read recently (because someone stole my copy). <- true story. The reason it is so odd is Ham on Rye is by far his best book. I liked Factotum, I loved Women and Hollywood, and I was even amused by Pulp (his last book published shortly before his death 20 years ago.) Say what you want about the man – hate him for all I care – but Ham on Rye is one of the most genuine coming of age stories I have read in a very long time. Starting from when he is 3 years old and ending at the beginning of World War II, Bukowski takes on his alter ego “Hank” and tells you his story like it was. (With a little embellishment here and there just to give it that extra flair.)

Are there women? Some.

Is there booze? Of course.

Why is this different from all of his other booze induced, women laced books?  Because it shows you the “why”. Why did he become the man he was? Why did he crawl inside a bottle? Why was he so obsessed with women and words? Every single answer is right there smashed between orange groves, high school angst, the great depression, and trolley rides to and from Pershing Square.

Loud, brash Bukowski is known for getting right in your face and saying, “What the hell are you going to do about it?” That quality is still there, but that’s not what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the spider. The small tiny moments that subsequently mould us into our adult selves.

So that’s why I pick this book. I pick Charles Bukowski for his poetry, for his soul, and for his courage to say out loud all those things that are very easily hidden behind booze and broads. Maybe you’ve read him, or maybe he is new to you – this is the place to start.

Ham on Rye won’t let you down.

“So, that’s what they wanted: lies. Beautiful lies. That’s what they needed. People were fools. It was going to be easy for me.”

 

Maybe it wasn’t always easy, but it was totally worth it.

 

Please feel free to recommend books below!